I Created This

I woke up yesterday morning thinking about the book. No surprise there. I’ve been hyper-focused on it for the last 30 days and normal-focused for the last 6 months. Add in that I uploaded the final Kindle and paperback versions of it to KDP (Amazon’s publishing arm) the night before, and it’s pretty obvious why I might be just a wee bit excited (read: obsessed).

Anyway, this particular round of thoughts involved a vision of making a video of me holding up the book and saying, “I created this.” Not as a flex, but to make the point that the word “this” in that sentence is not the most important part.

Yes, I created a book. And I’m proud of that. I’m also excited about the possibilities it opens up, moving forward. It isn’t a masterpiece, nor is it a coloring book. It’s somewhere in between those two things. It’s good. I like it. But it’s not the best part.

The best part of the aforementioned sentence and this whole thing isn’t “this”, it’s “I created”.

I started three thirty-day experiments on March 23: Finish the book, build a self-directed version of a program that walks people through the TC framework, build a cohort version of that same program. I posted a video about it and then went about my business.

I put a bunch of structure in place including a daily schedule to follow for each experiment and a journal to capture the process and all the ideas I knew I’d generate along the way. At first, I followed the schedule and journaled daily. Somewhere along the line, though, I quit using both of those things and just kept plugging along. It was all starting to feel onerous and chaotic, so I ditched it.

Structure is good until it isn’t. At that point you have to trust yourself to carry on without it. Otherwise, the same system you created to keep you on track and moving forward will become the catalyst for just the opposite. I was close to that point when I finally just let go and did the work. I stopped worrying about the rules as well as the time frame, so much so that I forgot when the experiments actually started.

I looked it up this morning and then realized that exactly one month later on April 23 I sent the final PDF of the book to my kids and their significant others. The book was done and the other two projects were further along than I’d realized, because I’d been inside them and couldn’t see how close they were.

That means the deadline doesn’t matter and the structure isn’t about when or what or even how. It’s about creating momentum and getting you started and giving you enough discipline to get the ball rolling, but also enough freedom to let go of it when it becomes counterproductive, which is ironic in and of itself. Because, while TC has absolutely nothing to do with being productive, turns out it’s a pretty good way to get shit done.

Three things. Thirty days. All complete.

I should be writing about that as an accomplishment, but that’s not what matters to me most anymore.

For thirty days I scrolled less, I fretted less, I drama’d less and consumed less crap in every way there is to consume crap.

That’s the point. But only 100%.

When I say creative action regulates the nervous system, this is what I mean. It’s not a metaphor. I’ve lived inside that claim for the better of 7 months now and watched it happen over and over again.

Transformative Creativity, this Substack, a lot of new art, a fully formed business plan, a studio concept that’s ready to roll, a couple of completed coaching programs and another in progress and, oh yeah, A BOOK are the byproducts.

The state I was in while I was building all of that was the actual thing.

I’ve spent most of my life waiting for some future version of me to feel okay… Different job. Different house. Different income. Different body. I built the entire framework I just wrote a book about because I finally understood that the waiting itself was the problem. The version of me who feels okay only exists when I’m taking creative action toward something that matters to me. There’s no other version coming. There’s only the doing. If I never make a dime from the book or the programs or any of it, these last 7 months I just lived would still be worth their weight in gold.

The book is out today and that’s awesome. Yay for me! But I’m already thinking about the next thirty days. That’s not out of some need to be productive or to capitalize on the momentum. It’s out of the sheer joy I get from taking action on my ideas, from making stuff, from bringing things to fruition. It’s also because I know what happens when I stop doing that. The fog rolls in. I’ve watched it happen for thirty years and I’m not interested in watching it happen again.

So, here in a few days (if not sooner), I’ll do another Locate and another Trace. I’ll find the next desire. I’ll build a new container. That container might not be a product. It might be something with no commercial output whatsoever. It might be an art practice I want to explore or a house project I’m ready to tackle. It might be something physical or something just for fun. Whatever it is, it’ll be a small daily action that engages me and moves me forward.

That’s the framework I wrote a book about. It’s also how I live now.

I hope you read it and love it and review it and share it. But the more important thing I want you to know is that the framework inside it works. I used it on myself and I’m holding the proof.

I created this.

And I can’t wait to do it again.

Transformative Creativity: How to Stop Building a Life by Default and Start Creating One on Purpose is available on Amazon Now